After overcoming some hurdles, I now feel at a better place with everything. I realize that things really do happen for a reason even if in the middle of those rough times you can't see it. Sometimes enduring the bad times can get you to a better place in the end.Now that my days are easier and more clear I'm finding that I have a different purpose in life and it's one I was oblivious to in the beginning. I've certainly found happiness on a much deeper level and I think it'll continue to stay that way.
On another note, lately I've been feeling a little lost in translation. People see that I have a cochlear implant and know that I do well with it, but they assume I can hear everything perfectly when I can't. To me the implant is still a work in progress as I'm still learning new sounds and hearing better everyday. However, it doesn't mean I'll ever reach the level of a hearing person. It's hard in social gatherings when everyone is talking. I don't think people understand how much I'm missing and therefore I'm typically quieter because I have no idea what's going on. I can handle it for a little while but sometimes it becomes frustrating because people just assume I'm always going to be a quiet person when what I really want is to talk and get to know everyone. It's hard knowing where to jump in. This is one of the reasons I miss dancing..... It gave me something to speak freely about with my body and made me feel like I was part of something where people couldn't see the difference. It gave me the chance to be as loud or as quiet as I wanted to be and I wasn't afraid to show it. I wish my body wasn't so old on the inside and that I was able to carry on dancing forever. Can't always have everything you wish for... Just saying....